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#1 2020-09-06 06:55:13

From: Austria, Wien
Registered: 2020-09-05
Posts: 1

Nov 23 On Facebook and Friends

> friends                             Oct 25.
Posted in           Tagged ,                        Nov 23    On Facebook and Friends.
A while ago, .

I made a practice of deleting a person a day from my Facebook account

I have a lot of “Friends” there but how many of them are really my friends.

Facebook is great because you can look up anyone

everyone that you’ve ever met but that’s sort of its downfall.
With MySpace, my friends list was full of bands and people I didn’t know but, hey, at least I could pretend I was using the site because I wanted to get to know them.

I make no such claims with Facebook
My Facebook friends list is full of people to whom I never speak

with whom I will never have a conversation again.
Perhaps it started because I simply wanted to have no pending friend requests.
Maybe I felt guilty when I didn’t add people but now my friends list is full of people who were my friend eight years ago but one or both of us have changed so much — or stayed so exactly the same — that we could never have a friendship now, if we hadn’t already been friends.

And that’s the better of the non-friend Facebook friends

I’ve got a ton of people who went to the same school as me but with whom I never had a single conversation who have tried to add me.
I have people who have tried to add me who I’ve felt nothing but disgust for.
I have people of whom I have absolutely no recollection.
Sure, people change and, yes, .

Friendships can arise from surprising sources but Facebook isn’t one of those
I don’t talk to these people because of Facebook

It hasn’t facilitated much in the way of connections.
It hasn’t rekindled a single friendship that I can think of.
In fact, Facebook only connects me to people with whom I’d already be connecting outside of Facebook.

It only keeps me up to date with people I’d remember even if there were no Facebook

So when I say that a friendship a decade ago is not enough to keep you on my friends list.
I’m not lying.
It’s not.
But it’s not unkind, either.
We’re not meant to keep in contact with every person we ever met.
Trying to do so will only weigh us down, perhaps more-so for those of us with anxiety.
The value of our connections is that they are fleeting.
They all cannot possibly last forever and, if we’re smart, that motivates us to make the best of that time and to be grateful for it.
Posted in Friends,           Tagged facebook,                        Aug 09    Come out, Come out.
I’m the first one signed up to participate in WeBlogIt–the blogging project going on over at DayDreamz.
Because I also run the project, I picked which theme would occur this week and so I will be writing all about things I hide from the world.
I mused over this all this morning.

I asked Dez what she thought I hid

I made some foods.
I wrote some articles.
I got some ideas.
The things I hide from the world are all things that I perceive as faults.
Sometimes I can get pretty wrapped up in what others think of me, or what I fear others might think of me, even.
So I hide things and this results in even the little things causing me stress.
For example, .

I hide the fact that I buy Mt Dew a lot

Everyone knows I love it but I also know it’s bad for me so I try not to let on how often I buy it.
The truth is, I personally don’t care if it is bad for me (my bad) but I worry about what others might think if they knew how much I bought it.
It’s okay, though.
After I post this, I’m walking to the gas station to get a Dew.
d= I also hide my weight.
Online, I don’t post full pictures but this habit comes out in real life, too.
When I sit someplace, I frequently reach for a pillow to cover my midsection.
I refuse photos a lot because of this.
Or I’ll take a million and delete all but a handful that show the best side of me.
During sex, I’ll pull the cover over me to hide my body and resist certain positions because I worry how I’ll look.
I’m feeling more confident now that I’ve lost some weight but I’ve never entirely been comfortable in my own skin.
When people ask, I glaze over the fact that I have no driver’s license.
Part of me isn’t bothered by it but part of me hates the fact that I’m so far “behind” that I don’t even want to talk about it because that means admitting my fault.
And I hide some of my negative feelings not just from others but from myself.
I’ve written about it a few times but I have a hard time feeling things when I think, intellectually, that feeling that way isn’t helping me.
Even if it’s completely expected for me to feeling negatively about a situation.
I have a hard time accepting that.
For a long time, I didn’t even think I could talk to my friends when something was bothering me.
I’d like to think I’m better about that.
After all, isn’t that why friends are even there.
In many ways now, I’m pretty open.
I hide my roots from people.
I come form a hard working but poor family and while I respect that, I also feel a sort of shame.
I sometimes have a hard time introducing people to my family or bringing them into my family’s homes because I am afraid they will judge my family and, by association, me.
This manifested itself a lot in my marriage.
Although I secretly wished Ryan knew more of my family and got along with them and even though I know a lot of my family members are fun, I sort of avoided introducing him to people.
In the end, I wound up hurting myself to avoid being hurt which is kind of par for the course when you do silly things like that.
Posted in Family, Friends, , Love,           Tagged background, driving, emotions, family, , mt dew, weight.


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